Learn to relax

When we are emotionally calm most of us can relax quite easily, however it is when we are not emotionally calm that we need relaxation the most. So, the secret is to practise these techniques when you are not feeling stressed or out of control. Then they come more easily when you need to use them.

Alter your breathing

When you breathe in you oxygenate the body and provide energy, similarly, when you breathe out you stimulate the relaxation-response which calms the body down. So, if you alter your breathing pattern such that your out-breath is longer than your in-breath, you cannot fail to relax – this is a physiological certainty. It is how we are designed to function.

Learn to distract yourself

Another physiological certainty – the right hemisphere of the brain is predominantly the part of the brain involved in emotional arousal. If you deliberately start using the other hemisphere you will redirect the blood supply and cause the right hemisphere to ‘calm down’. Any mental exercise such as listing things alphabetically, learning poetry, mental arithmetic, spelling backwards, reading backwards, translating into another language will do the trick.

Alternatively, you can go off and do something else rather than sit ruminating - play music, write stories, paint, cook, embroider, garden etc.

Exercise

When exercising, the body releases ‘feel-good’ chemicals called endorphins. This generally occurs after 20-30 minutes of exercise that increases the heart rate. If you cannot get outside the home, be creative in thinking up something that can be done inside. e.g.: running up and down stairs, exercise video, small trampoline, bike etc:

If you suffer from some physical health constraints, take advice and do what you can.

Ti-chi or Yoga offer an element of both physical and emotional exercise and should be considered. They also encourage you to get out and join in with others in a relatively non-threatening way.

Re-learn how to eat healthily – a vital skill for anyone with emotional distress.

I preface all of my comments here by saying that I am not an expert in nutrition and if you have specific needs you should consult a more appropriate person. You may wish to look at www.patrickholford.com.

In our daily lives, many of us eat to survive and spend relatively little time enjoying the experience – we are either too busy or we simply eat in a routine way without paying attention to what we are doing. Yet, eating is one of the most fundamental human needs. If it’s not really optional, why not take a little care over it and enjoy it?

There many survival stories told about how people stranded in hostile environments survive on grubs, tree bark even leather shoes!! How can this be?

Simple, we are so over-engineered as a species – we are capable of synthesizing so many of our very specific needs internally in our own body, we can eat almost anything and survive.

However, this may be necessary for the stranded survivor, or even junk food may be fine for a fully healthy individual – but not for someone in emotional distress of any kind. When we are emotionally ill, our brains are suffering just as we are and need us to care for them in order that they can help us to help ourselves.

A distressed brain is much more active that normal - consuming many more calories and requiring more regular replenishment.

Also, our brain is the key resource which specialises in synthesizing our needs from whatever we eat and if it is not functioning properly we will not be able to extract sufficient nutrition to satisfy our ongoing needs.

For a day or two we can usually cope with these problems, but if our distress goes on for longer than that we progressively become more and more physically under nourished and this in turn makes us feel worse which compounds our emotional distress – now we definitely know we are ill, because we feel it.

Some simple rules for healthy eating

Don’t skip any meals – specifically breakfast. When we are distressed our brains are particularly active at night and need early replenishment in the morning.

Eat broadly – now is not the best time for that new ‘specific’ diet. The broader the range of food you eat, the easier it will be for your brain to synthesize your needs.

Change your thought process from ‘necessary evil’ or ‘can’t be bothered’ to something to think about and enjoy. Experience the full range of eating activity – start with thinking ahead and planning what you would like to eat, then consider cooking as much of it as you can – look up those recipe books that have lain unused for years and dust them off. Make time to shop properly, not just buying convenience foods but looking around for the best affordable foods. Cook and consider how to make the food look appetising – you’ve taken the time to cook it, present it thoughtfully. When you are eating, slow down – take your time and enjoy the fruits of your labour. Chew more slowly and more thoroughly than normal (this will also help digestion which in turn speeds nutritional absorption in to the blood stream). Taste your food and enjoy it.

Eat fish – preferably oily, a rich source of Ohmega Three which will help your brain function better. If you do not like fish, you may wish to consider an Ohmega Three supplement.

Take care of your basic sleep hygiene

Often when we are suffering emotional distress we do not sleep as well as normal, yet because our distress creeps up on us we simply don’t notice that our sleeping habits have deteriorated – we convince ourselves that we will not get to sleep, so we watch TV till 3.00 am, or read a book in bed for several hours – usually an enjoyable one!

So our brains learn that not only are we not expecting to sleep, but that we can often enjoy ourselves more if we do not – so, guess what they begin to do….that’s right, the sleep pattern begins to change to ‘allow’ for this extra activity – especially if it is enjoyable.

Some simple rules for healthy sleep

Whatever your mother used to tell you, she was probably right!

Half an hour before bed, have a hot milky drink with a digestive biscuit.

Try to keep to a reasonably predictable routine – go to bed at a similar time each night.

Make sure there is no clock visible to you from your bed. An alarm clock is fine, but make sure you can’t read the time.

The room should be peaceful – decoration, tidiness and as much as possible from external noise.

Over-the-counter sleeping aids are fine if you find one that works for you.

If you waken in the middle of the night, it is important that your brain does NOT enjoy the experience – so don’t make yourself a cup of tea and read more of that enjoyable book. The ‘message’ must be consistent – wakening up early is a bad thing and should not be rewarded. In fact just the opposite - generate some appropriate ‘punishment’. People I have worked with over the years have come up with some very creative ways of punishing their brain’s for wakening them at the wrong time – have a book by the bed that is your most hated book (Shakespeare does it for me – apologies to Shakespeare lovers), have a list of chores which need to be done – wash the kitchen floor, clean the toilets….you get the idea. Whatever you do, do NOT reward your brain for wakening you up.

Persist with all of the above – attention to these things alone is unlikely to eliminate your emotional distress, but they will help you feel a little better – we all feel better after a decent nights sleep.